Don't Play with My Emotions

Dear Anonymous Reader,

As you know, I started this blog challenge because I was trying to find a way to avoid online dating and needed another reason to connect with people (quality men specifically) in person. This is a story of the last online suitor that put me over the edge...

We met online, his name was Chris (I think...oh my gosh...I already put him out of my memory). Chris was 33, I'm 37. He lived outside of Placerville, I'm in Auburn. We are both single and don't have any kids. He was attractive. For me, single, no kids, cute = let's see if there's a spark! We spoke on the phone for about an hour and it was pretty good. We met up a few days later for a cup of coffee and it was okay. He was very nice and interested, but I wasn't feeling too much magic. SIDE NOTE: For me "feeling magic" kinda just means, would I want to kiss this guy or not? If I can picture myself kissing him, and the conversation is good, then yes...some spark. I wasn't 100% sure I was sparking with him, but I wanted to give it one more date.

We went out to an improv comedy show in Rocklin. On the way there his car broke down and I picked him up and we spent about 30 minutes driving around town for a part he needed. Oh yes...this was after I literally PUSHED his car into a parking spot in the parking lot so it'd be safe (well me and a stranger I asked to help). So we drove around and it was fine and then we went to the show, then back to his car to call AAA and wait for an hour for them to show up. We spent that time talking and strolling around the parking lot. I wasn't feeling the spark. Why, do you ask? Why no spark. The man spent almost the entire night saying the same few things over and over and over and over and over and over...you get it... and over again. "Aw gee, Kelly, you're so nice. You're like the nicest person." "Gosh Kelly, you're so nice and so pretty. Aw gee, thank you so much." "You're the best Kelly, gosh, thank you for standing here with me. You're so nice and pretty, gosh." "Hey good lookin', whatcha got cookin'." Keep in mind he was also saying those things three hours before while we were driving around before the show. I need a hell of a lot more substance than that. I tried to steer the convo to more interesting things, but it didn't get too far. That, and, he talked about his ex A LOT. Like, a lot, a lot. Too much. And she like yelled at him and hit him and took his money. IDK...it was uncomfortable hearing all that.

Okay...fast forward two days. I called him to tell him that I had a nice time getting to know him and that I think his is a great guy, but I'm not feeling a strong enough connection between us on my end. He was disappointed and we talked for about 20 minutes. I told him I respected him and his time and didn't want to ignore him or to lead him on. When I hung up I almost wanted to cry because he was such a nice guy. Not my kind of guy, but still really nice.

Two hours later...I get a text and it was like Mr. Nice Guy was replaced by Mr. Dick Head! He blasted me with text saying I'm a terrible person for leading him on and spending all this time just to manipulate him. I was just a mean girl who plays with peoples emotions and doesn't care about anyone else. He said he was pissed he spent all that time driving to Rocklin and that his car broke down and it was all for nothing because I was such a bad person.

I was shocked! WTF!? I wrote him back a very nice email saying I'm not that type of person and regardless of his perception of me I did enjoy meeting him and I wished him the best in his future. He wrote me back a scroll-worthy text restating everything he had said before and closed with, "well, I got back together with my ex-girlfriend anyway, so thanks for that. And I'd say it was nice to meet you and good luck, but after the way you treated me...nah."

What the hell!?!?!? I didn't respond and blocked his number. How did that flip? I HATE DATING!! When did dating become Decide Right Now And Get Married?

The thing that hit my heart for a moment was when he said I was a playing with his emotions. I know it's not true of me, but having someone say that to me sucked. I try not to lead people on when dating and it just comes across all wrong I guess. There's so much pressure. Pressure to be perfect on dates, to have someone like you, even when you don't really know if you like them back yet. It's just too much.

For all you married people out there...if it's rocky for you and you have fantasies of the dating world, I hate to BURST your bubble, but it's fucking terrible out here in Singledom. No one is running around with heels and dinner dates like an episode of "Sex and the City". I'd like to see an updated version of that show where online dating is the name of the game. It's hard. Be grateful for your mate. Go home right now and give them a big kiss and tell them one thing you just LOVE about their personality. Then kiss them again. Hopefully that turns into a romp in the sack because everyone feels better after that!

So long for now,
XO
Kel