Hi there, friend!
I want to let you into my heart a bit. To describe my love affair with words - poetry in particular - and my process for how I tend to write.
When I started to write poetry of my own, it was slow. It was closer to a journal entry. A rant. A lot of questions and an underlying feeling of hopelessness. I wrote a lot about my heart. I wrote a lot about heartbreak.
Somewhere along the line I stopped journaling, and calling it poetry, to actually writing poetry.
Somewhere along the line something happened in my soul. My creative words separated into two very different categories:
- Thoughtful and intentional
- Uncontrollable expulsion
The thoughtful and intentional pieces are mostly planned. I write something for a birthday card, or a speech. I sit and think about how to make the words light, or heavy. These poems are peaceful and easy for me to write. I can start, stop, and return to the words at any time. I am pleased.
The uncontrollable expulsion, however, are completely disarming. Here's how it goes:
1. I'm driving, or relaxed, or maybe a bit vexed, and then a word comes to mind. Whatever the word...it worms is way in my head. I repeat it over and over and then other words start attaching themselves before and after that word. The word has now become a phrase.
2. Once it's a phrase, it moves into my chest. It's hot, it's uncomfortable and it starts to gnaw at me from the inside out. I physically begin to pull my shoulders, arch my back and lift my chin because I can feel the words. I repeat the phrase in my head over and over until other phrases start attaching themselves before and after it. The few phrases together are on the edge of information overload. I have to get them out.
3. Wherever I am: in the shower, driving, eating, watching TV, working. Whatever I'm doing I immediately stop, pull over, get out, turn it off, leave the room, to stop myself from choking. I feel like I am literally choking on the words.
4. I write in a unstoppable flow. I gasp for some release from these words in my heart. These words that have come from inside my gut, my soul, my emotions.
5. When I'm done, I can finally breath again. I can finally focus on whatever it is I was doing, or need to do. The words aren't necessarily heavy or sad. There is a mix of heart ache as well as joy and pleasure. Regardless of the tone of the poetry, the overwhelming expulsion of language is always the same feeling.
I don't know if any other poets have this kind of reaction in their process. It's like if Inspiration were the "bad guy". Who chokes on words?!? I do apparently.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I'm so grateful for poetry. I'm grateful for my mind to have the capability to interpret what my heart wants to say. What my heart needs to say. And trust me...it's a need.
It's only recently I have had the courage to step into myself as a writer to say...
I am a poet.
Thank you, friend, for your time and your love.
~ Kelly
(The Poet)
P.S. - I'll post one of my poems soon.
